I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
