evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
