question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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