I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
