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Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the day after is always just damage control
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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