So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
