is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
