You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
