she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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