I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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