Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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