let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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