we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
