You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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