Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
