Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
