Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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