my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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