Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
