Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
