There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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