I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
