the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
