I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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