Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
