Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Did I show you my penis last night?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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