My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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