God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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