so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
