she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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