you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
