I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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