do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
