Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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