so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
