I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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