i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
