Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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