when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize