the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
