So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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