god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
