you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
