things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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