Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
