I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize