dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
