Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
