did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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