my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I look better un-naked...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
