yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
