And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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