The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
