Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
