you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize