Little spoons don't ask big questions
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
