Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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