Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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