so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
