Walk of Shame. In a state park.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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