And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
