I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
