i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
