i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
