I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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