But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
