Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize