omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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