Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
