so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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