His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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