i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
