i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
