Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
