This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
