I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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